What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.

Do you know what she said mum?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What are some fun/kinky things to do with your partner?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What are the types of values?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What! how could you do that?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

I have a "fat pussy" and I'm super self cautions about it. Do guys think it's gross?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Is the Las Vegas Grand Prix considered one of the "premier events on the Formula 1 calendar?"

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.